You with your words like knives...

okay, this morning I was in a really bad place and now i'm out, with help of some lovely people but I have got something I want to say. I didn't know whether to post or not this morning but I actually thought the people who read my blog would care about me and actually want to help me. but let me say this now, my blog isn't for you, if you don't like what I say then don't listen! okay, I was naive but some people are so back stabbing! I don't write on here because i want you to read it, or to make an extravagant showing of my feelings, i write on here for me, to let my feelings out and to hope that the people I love will get to know me a bit better, sometimes to thank them for being amazing sometimes to say my mind, like now.  i dont need people in my life who drag me down, if this is you then take a look at yourself. does pulling me down make you any happier? does it make me any happier? then why do it? because people have feelings, that are not there to let you mock or to make you feel any better. yes, i am 14! but that doesn't  that I cant feel how I want to feel, it just means that i'm not scared of showing my emotions, it has got nothing to do with you. anything. i'm sorry that i thought you cared about me, but how can i even trust you when every time our friendship starts to heal you pull it to pieces again? Every time you stab me with your words and it hurts, then it hurts you. I wish you could see it because in the end this wont be a friendship any more. I'm sorry that i trusted you, I'm sorry that i let you into my world, I'm sorry i gave you another gossiping conversation to have. once again about my life, which I dont even know why i invited you to share any of my feelings, I poured so much into you just for you to go and talk about. but to be honest i dont need it any more, your my friend and you always will be but maybe next time you hurt someone you will wish that you learnt from the first time you hurt me.

love from me xxx